Forget New Year's Resolutions. I have bigger fish to fry this year.
I'm deeming the year of 2011 as the year of growing up.
I've always wanted to grow up.
As a child, I walked at 9 months, swam as a three year old, and bossed everyone as soon as I could talk. While normal kids were playing with dolls, I opened a library in my walk-in closet, card catalogue and all. I read Little Women in second grade and wanted to be Josephine.
As a teen, I fought with my parents constantly and threatened to "move out!" because I was surely "old enough to take care of myself!" I quickly learned this wasn't the truth at all.
Then I thought, okay, college is when I'll really grow up. I'll move away and somehow find this total independence that I've always desired. False. Though I certainly was forced to make new friends, learn real responsibility, etc., I still whined to my mom when I felt sick. I cried to my dad about how mean mom was. I called both my parents for money. I wasn't grown up.
However, though I still can be a big baby and I definitely still mooch off my parents for money, *dare I say it* those days are winding down. I think...I might be...
A GROWN UP.
I graduate college in less than a year. I have to either find a job or get into a law school in less than a year. My best friend is getting married in less than a year.
When did this happen and why does it sound so much better when you're a kid?
I'm stressed.
Of course I hear my Christian background screaming Jeremiah 29:11 and other frequently-quoted, future-related scripture at me.
But I'm going to be honest-I also hear a lot of doubt. I have overwhelming fear. And anxiety-OH MY.
"Really cool, Alex. You're finally a grown up and you don't have any idea what to do with your life."
"You're a grown up but you still act like a child." (It's true, I often do!)
Craig Groeschel offers a compelling message directed specifically at the emerging generation. He claims that one of the three greatest temptations faced by the emerging generation is (I'm paraphrasing here-click to listen to full message) that we never believe we are "old enough" to take action, and grow up. We "postpone adulthood". That's true. I certainly don't feel "old enough", i.e. my doubts above.
However, he goes on to say that real life starts now. God calls us to grow up and start making a difference today. He also asserts that the emerging generation's biggest strength is that we cause-minded. We literally yearn to personally make a difference in the world. That's also true for me. I have goals and ambitions that will never happen if I don't realize that the time is here to chase them. The time is here for me to stop saying I'm going to do these things...that I want these things...and get off my rear and go get them.
While the fear of the future is, at times, deafening, we cannot let it become stronger than our desire to fulfill our God-given plans. Though we may not know the specifics of our lives, we all have specific desires that we long to be filled. And He promises that if we delight ourselves in Him, He will give them to us (Psalm 37:5).
Am I still scared?
Absolutely.
Is it going to be okay?
Absolutely.
Showing posts with label adventures in faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adventures in faith. Show all posts
13.1.11
24.12.10
The weary world rejoices!
I can't believe it's actually Christmas Eve. And I can't believe that I'm going to write a post about my dog.
But, alas, it is somehow Christmas Eve and I am actually going to write about my miniature schnauzer-Emily.
I've never cared too much for animals.
I'll pretend to like them if I want to seem cutesy or please their owners but truthfully, I think they are usually a burden, ugly, smelly, messy, and [insert any other gross generalization here]. However, apparently when I was 8 years old I really liked dogs and therefore received Emily as my birthday present. She's a funny dog. She howls when we sing, she kills squirrels and birds, and she's not so miniature. I've always liked her okay but I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm an attached owner.
Emily is now 13 in dog years, making her a whopping 91 in human years! I came home to find that she's lost so much weight (for once she fits her breed name), she makes weird noises, and she sleeps all the time. We think she will die any day now.
And somehow-looking at my decrepit old dog-I've fallen in love with her like I am 8 years old again. My favorite part about Emily is that when she was a puppy (and still at 91), she is SO excitable and finds great happiness in the little things. Even though I know she's tired, she still jumps up on our laps, plays when let outside, and begs for just one little bite of her favorite human food-bread. Today, we found her playing in the wrapped presents under the Christmas tree.
My favorite Christmas song is "Oh Holy Night" simply because I love the following lines: "A thrill of hope/the weary world rejoices!"
How many times do we all feel weary? Emily's certainly weary (she's 91 for crying out loud!). But this Christmas, every Christmas, and every day for that matter, we can have great HOPE through the great gift God has given us through His son's birth and ultimate sacrifice. Like Emily, even when we're weary, we can choose to find happiness. We can REJOICE in all of God's many blessings.
God help me to stop complaining about being weary and rejoice in all that you've done. For YOU have given us much hope!
Cherish these precious moments with your family, friends, and even pets.
Merry Christmas everyone!
But, alas, it is somehow Christmas Eve and I am actually going to write about my miniature schnauzer-Emily.
I've never cared too much for animals.
I'll pretend to like them if I want to seem cutesy or please their owners but truthfully, I think they are usually a burden, ugly, smelly, messy, and [insert any other gross generalization here]. However, apparently when I was 8 years old I really liked dogs and therefore received Emily as my birthday present. She's a funny dog. She howls when we sing, she kills squirrels and birds, and she's not so miniature. I've always liked her okay but I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm an attached owner.
Emily is now 13 in dog years, making her a whopping 91 in human years! I came home to find that she's lost so much weight (for once she fits her breed name), she makes weird noises, and she sleeps all the time. We think she will die any day now.
And somehow-looking at my decrepit old dog-I've fallen in love with her like I am 8 years old again. My favorite part about Emily is that when she was a puppy (and still at 91), she is SO excitable and finds great happiness in the little things. Even though I know she's tired, she still jumps up on our laps, plays when let outside, and begs for just one little bite of her favorite human food-bread. Today, we found her playing in the wrapped presents under the Christmas tree.
My favorite Christmas song is "Oh Holy Night" simply because I love the following lines: "A thrill of hope/the weary world rejoices!"
How many times do we all feel weary? Emily's certainly weary (she's 91 for crying out loud!). But this Christmas, every Christmas, and every day for that matter, we can have great HOPE through the great gift God has given us through His son's birth and ultimate sacrifice. Like Emily, even when we're weary, we can choose to find happiness. We can REJOICE in all of God's many blessings.
God help me to stop complaining about being weary and rejoice in all that you've done. For YOU have given us much hope!
Cherish these precious moments with your family, friends, and even pets.
Merry Christmas everyone!
12.9.10
new hair, new me? hardly.
After 20 years, 11 months, and 2 weeks of never before coloring my hair, I finally gave in last Wednesday and let my hair stylist have at it. I know you those of you who are regular "choppers and dyers" are probably scoffing at my innocence; however, for me to change my hair (again, I made it nearly 21 years, people!), it was a pretty-cue Kara-EPIC moment in my life. With the onset of fall, many changes in my life (see last post), and now, NEW HAIR, I have been thinking a lot about how God uses change in our life, and not just emotional change, to teach us about the constants that He gives us.
I realize that I am slightly dramaticizing a pretty standard procedure in the life of a female; however, think of all of the physical changes that we go through within the course of our lifetime. I personally have endured much awkwardness of growing up in a physical sense. While I could try to describe "awkward Alex", perhaps it would be of greater benefit to just show you...
If you only knew the time my mom
spent "poofing" those bangs:
I can't decide what's worse:
the face I'm making or the
high-waisted soffee shorts?
Was the tie-the-jacket-around-your-waist
look ever really IN?!
Here I thought I was having a good hair day...
It is evident that as far as physical appearances go, I have come a long way from my middle part, pantyhose necklaces, and unfortunate style. But really, in 10 years will I be looking back having a laugh at my (current) beaded bracelets, track shorts, oversized tshirts, and even my new hair? Probably.
Do you ever wish that you were one of those women who could pull off the "timeless look". You know...the Audrey Hepburn-esque style. The Chanel-wearers of the world. I certainly do.
I think that, despite the ever-changing world around us, God has instilled a desire in each of us to seek out the constants. We all LONG for that which is timeless. Simply put, our heart's ongoing search for consistency only further reinforces our need for the Savior's UNCHANGING love.
Honestly, my biggest attempt to find consistency is in my relationships with others. Because my friends, parents, boyfriend, etc. are all human, I am continually let down and disappointed by their actions. My disappointment turns to bitterness and, in turn, I harbor selfishness, resentment, and even anger. While I rarely outwardly act on these emotions, inside, they tear me up.
God, help me to realize that the ONLY thing that's timeless and worth placing stock in is YOUR unchanging character and YOUR gift and promise of grace for my life. Let me have faith in you only, because you are the only true constant I will ever find. Lord, let me develop relationships with others and teach me to love them how you love me. As many times as I disappoint you and let you down, Your abundance of grace always affirms your never-ending love for me. Thank you for providing the ultimate example of love through the sacrifice of your son.
“Earthly love is temporal and slight so that it has to be given again and again in order for us to feel any sense of security; but God’s love, God’s voice and presence, would instill our souls with such affirmation we would need nothing more and would cause us to love other people so much that we would be willing to die for them” -Donald Miller
I realize that I am slightly dramaticizing a pretty standard procedure in the life of a female; however, think of all of the physical changes that we go through within the course of our lifetime. I personally have endured much awkwardness of growing up in a physical sense. While I could try to describe "awkward Alex", perhaps it would be of greater benefit to just show you...
If you only knew the time my mom
spent "poofing" those bangs:
I can't decide what's worse:
the face I'm making or the
high-waisted soffee shorts?
Was the tie-the-jacket-around-your-waist
look ever really IN?!
Here I thought I was having a good hair day...
It is evident that as far as physical appearances go, I have come a long way from my middle part, pantyhose necklaces, and unfortunate style. But really, in 10 years will I be looking back having a laugh at my (current) beaded bracelets, track shorts, oversized tshirts, and even my new hair? Probably.
Do you ever wish that you were one of those women who could pull off the "timeless look". You know...the Audrey Hepburn-esque style. The Chanel-wearers of the world. I certainly do.
I think that, despite the ever-changing world around us, God has instilled a desire in each of us to seek out the constants. We all LONG for that which is timeless. Simply put, our heart's ongoing search for consistency only further reinforces our need for the Savior's UNCHANGING love.
Honestly, my biggest attempt to find consistency is in my relationships with others. Because my friends, parents, boyfriend, etc. are all human, I am continually let down and disappointed by their actions. My disappointment turns to bitterness and, in turn, I harbor selfishness, resentment, and even anger. While I rarely outwardly act on these emotions, inside, they tear me up.
God, help me to realize that the ONLY thing that's timeless and worth placing stock in is YOUR unchanging character and YOUR gift and promise of grace for my life. Let me have faith in you only, because you are the only true constant I will ever find. Lord, let me develop relationships with others and teach me to love them how you love me. As many times as I disappoint you and let you down, Your abundance of grace always affirms your never-ending love for me. Thank you for providing the ultimate example of love through the sacrifice of your son.
“Earthly love is temporal and slight so that it has to be given again and again in order for us to feel any sense of security; but God’s love, God’s voice and presence, would instill our souls with such affirmation we would need nothing more and would cause us to love other people so much that we would be willing to die for them” -Donald Miller
31.8.10
It's Just a Season Thing
To call me the worst blogger in the world would be an understatement. I was supposed to blog my Italy adventures. Fail. I was supposed to give a final update on the ol' summer adventure list. Big fail.
However, in the spirit of a new year of school, I figured I better give a brief update on my life and try really hard to be better about blogging regularly. By regularly I mean once a week. Tops.
Italy was everything I hoped for and so much more! It was truly the trip of a lifetime. I learned so much about myself, other people, and the world in general. I will forever treasure the memories made and the relationships that I formed while there. I could go on and on but rather, I'll leave you with some of my favorite pictures.
Trevi Fountain in Rome
Canyoning in Northern Italy
.JPG)
Cinque Terre, Italy
Fields of beautiful sunflowers!
Since Italy, my life has been a whirlwind of change leading to personal growth like never before. My sweet Nana was diagnosed with cancer, I have met the guy of my dreams, and ultimately, it's time for me to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life. These past few weeks, God has continually laid the following verse on my heart: "In the multitude of anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul!" (Psalm 94:19) Regardless of my anxieties, I delight in the fact that I have a wonderful family. I delight in the opportunities that God has given me to travel (the world!). I delight in the encouragement that my friends give me. I delight in the adventures that my sweet boyfriend and I have been able to experience together. I delight in the smell of the onset of fall, a kid's chocolate-smeared smile, and the touch of my Mountain Hardwear fleece. Big blessings and small, my life is FULL of God-given comforts.
In short, a new season or chapter is beginning in my life and I am anxious to see what it brings forth. I can confidently say that it will be the best yet.
However, in the spirit of a new year of school, I figured I better give a brief update on my life and try really hard to be better about blogging regularly. By regularly I mean once a week. Tops.
Italy was everything I hoped for and so much more! It was truly the trip of a lifetime. I learned so much about myself, other people, and the world in general. I will forever treasure the memories made and the relationships that I formed while there. I could go on and on but rather, I'll leave you with some of my favorite pictures.
Trevi Fountain in Rome
Canyoning in Northern Italy
.JPG)
Cinque Terre, Italy
Fields of beautiful sunflowers!
Since Italy, my life has been a whirlwind of change leading to personal growth like never before. My sweet Nana was diagnosed with cancer, I have met the guy of my dreams, and ultimately, it's time for me to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life. These past few weeks, God has continually laid the following verse on my heart: "In the multitude of anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul!" (Psalm 94:19) Regardless of my anxieties, I delight in the fact that I have a wonderful family. I delight in the opportunities that God has given me to travel (the world!). I delight in the encouragement that my friends give me. I delight in the adventures that my sweet boyfriend and I have been able to experience together. I delight in the smell of the onset of fall, a kid's chocolate-smeared smile, and the touch of my Mountain Hardwear fleece. Big blessings and small, my life is FULL of God-given comforts.
In short, a new season or chapter is beginning in my life and I am anxious to see what it brings forth. I can confidently say that it will be the best yet.
28.5.10
The Best Adventure
I'm going to be brutally honest here:
I am at a point in my life where I am experiencing great discontent.
My discontent is rooted in the following two personal challenges:
First, abrupt "life changes" have shaken up my future and my future plans. Friends, the word "MY" in the previous sentence clues you in on (perhaps) my greatest personal challenge; I, Alex, constantly try to plan, control, manipulate, and even dictate my future.
Why, oh why, do I do this to myself? I am continually challenged by this unfortunate quality as God constantly shows me that my half-baked plans are in vain without HIS purpose guiding my actions.
Simply put, it's a battle of my head versus my heart. My head knows that the changes that are occurring in my life are God's way of leading me back to a better and more fulfilling path; however, the ugly pride of my heart wants to hold onto the notion that "MY plans" are somehow more intelligent than God's!
How ridiculous can I be?!
Next, I am so anxious for all of my upcoming adventures that I am causing myself total dissatisfaction in the present. Italy is nearly a month away and Free Wheel and Convention are both 3ish weeks away. Today, I noticed that I complain all the time. I complain because the weather's too hot, because I am bored, or because I am sick of this town. How many times during the past year at school did I wish for just one day to relax by the pool at home with nothing to do? Thousands!
I am a walking oxymoron, emphasis on the "moron".
Ultimately, my discontent stems from a control issue. I cannot give up control. Control of my future, control of time, all of my controlling antics have led me to this dissatisfaction.
C.S. Lewis once described his battle with control by writing, "All this flashy rhetoric about loving you./I never had a selfless thought since I was born./I am a mercenary and self-seeking through and through;/ I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn./Peace, reassurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,/I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin;/I talk of love---a scholar's parrot may talk Greek---/But, self imprisoned, always end where I begin."
I love how honest he is here; it's raw, it's real, it's definitely me.
My blog is based around the idea of "adventures"; however, I am discovering that I cannot begin any small adventure without beginning the greatest adventure that has been prepared for my life: an intimate journey with my Savior who has the BEST plan prepared for me.
Finally letting go of control. Wish me luck, or better yet, prayers.
I am at a point in my life where I am experiencing great discontent.
My discontent is rooted in the following two personal challenges:
First, abrupt "life changes" have shaken up my future and my future plans. Friends, the word "MY" in the previous sentence clues you in on (perhaps) my greatest personal challenge; I, Alex, constantly try to plan, control, manipulate, and even dictate my future.
Why, oh why, do I do this to myself? I am continually challenged by this unfortunate quality as God constantly shows me that my half-baked plans are in vain without HIS purpose guiding my actions.
Simply put, it's a battle of my head versus my heart. My head knows that the changes that are occurring in my life are God's way of leading me back to a better and more fulfilling path; however, the ugly pride of my heart wants to hold onto the notion that "MY plans" are somehow more intelligent than God's!
How ridiculous can I be?!
Next, I am so anxious for all of my upcoming adventures that I am causing myself total dissatisfaction in the present. Italy is nearly a month away and Free Wheel and Convention are both 3ish weeks away. Today, I noticed that I complain all the time. I complain because the weather's too hot, because I am bored, or because I am sick of this town. How many times during the past year at school did I wish for just one day to relax by the pool at home with nothing to do? Thousands!
I am a walking oxymoron, emphasis on the "moron".
Ultimately, my discontent stems from a control issue. I cannot give up control. Control of my future, control of time, all of my controlling antics have led me to this dissatisfaction.
C.S. Lewis once described his battle with control by writing, "All this flashy rhetoric about loving you./I never had a selfless thought since I was born./I am a mercenary and self-seeking through and through;/ I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn./Peace, reassurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,/I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin;/I talk of love---a scholar's parrot may talk Greek---/But, self imprisoned, always end where I begin."
I love how honest he is here; it's raw, it's real, it's definitely me.
My blog is based around the idea of "adventures"; however, I am discovering that I cannot begin any small adventure without beginning the greatest adventure that has been prepared for my life: an intimate journey with my Savior who has the BEST plan prepared for me.
Finally letting go of control. Wish me luck, or better yet, prayers.
2.2.10
Home
I've been thinking a lot today about what it means to "go home"...
Obviously, we all have some sort of an earthly home. What particularly strikes me about "going home" to our earthly dwelling is the variations in how the phrase can be spoken. Some say they are "going home" with a sigh, dreading the experience. Others are elated and excited to relive the memories that whisper within the walls. And God knows that there are those who have lived in a house full of hate or sadness. Whatever the situation, the pure feeling of "going home" is far from a universal emotion.
But what if that feeling of "going home" could be shared? What if every single person in the world (the poor, the lonely, the wealthy, the happy, the broken, even the homeless) felt a genuine peace and overwhelming joy when they spoke the phrase "I am going home!"
If we only knew that we all have an opportunity to have the best home. A home that is surrounded by unfailing love and indescribable joy. In John 14:2, Jesus says that he is "going there to prepare a place for you". How comforting it is to know that He has prepared each of us a room in His Heavenly Mansion...that the God who most beautiful and loving in every way would accept me, a selfish, undeserving, and dirty sinner into His Home.
Yesterday, the beloved Bertie Carter was welcomed into paradise. She was truly a blessing to everyone she met. She lived life to love on others, especially the unlovable. What an incredible lady she was, one who understood God's grace better than many, including myself. Though her earthly home will crumble with time, Bertie's legacy in Christ will linger forever throughout our small community.
Praise God...Bertie no longer hurts
...Bertie went home!
I've seen enough to say that I know
That this old world is not my home
From lustful eyes and tainted lies, pride to hide the way that I
The way that I feel inside
I am ready to go home
I'm packing my bags and I'm hitting the road
I am ready to go home
I'm packing my bags and I'm hitting the road
I'm packing my bags and I'm hitting the road
Yes, I'm gonna run, I'm gonna run for my home
To stand in the sight of the Living God
That's where I'm longing to be
"Home" by Shawn McDonald
13.8.09
Prayers of a Beggar
God, give me the courage to do the right thing. Please let me act in love and not in my earthly, ugly resentment that lingers in the pit of my stomach.
If only I could realize the depth of love you have for me, I would want nothing else. Help me realize!
currently reading: Same Kind of Different As Me
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